Sung to the tune of Mary Long
Ritchie B. is a hypocrite
He does all the things that he KNOWS he SHOULD not DO!,
like stealing riffs from his old LP's,
and stepping-on-hands WITH his might-y shoe --
He blasts Gillan for forgetting all the words,
and then he goes home without an EN-CORE song,
He claims Ian hasn't kept his voice in form...
and then he plays a solo that'll make you yawn!
When the nation heard you've turned nicer
it came as such a surprise
Perhaps you've mellowed thanks to Can-dy --
She's half your age and barely half your size:
Why choose a new personality Ritchie B?
Just tell us THAT we won't see Rain-bow with J-L-T!
Lyrics by Ed Coury 1997