Doug Coiner's Deep Purple predictions for '96

From: dougc@sdd.hp.com (Doug Coiner)
Date: 2 Jan 1996 10:09:52 -0800
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Happy New Year! Donning my hat and cape and looking into my crystal ball, I make the following predictions for 1996.

  • Purpendicular is released. The general consensus among amd-p is that the album is great.
  • DP's US record company folds leaving Purpendicular only available in Europe and Japan.
  • North American members of amd-p decide to raise money and form their own record label to release the album. Donations are solicited but the idea is abandoned when all that is raised is $5.32, 23 copies of the pre-remastered In Rock, and 5 amd-p t-shirts.
  • Deep Purple conduct a world-wide tour supporting Purpendicular, playing in ALL amd-p members home towns. North American fans cheer because they not only get to purchase Purpendicular at the show but after the show all band members sign the CDs.
  • Roger takes a laptop on tour and files "Roger's reports from the road." This gives amd-p members a chance to compare audience reviews with Roger's report.
  • DP releases several singles from Purpendicular. Each has an album track, an non-album track, and a classic song recorded live on the tour.
  • Mark from the land of corn conducts 342 polls during 1996. The last one, name your favorite note, receives very little response, with G winning over Em.
  • Yuri says something controversial.
  • A new female joins the ranks of amd-p and is immediately flooded with marriage proposals.
  • Blackmore fans make critical comments about Morse. o Everybody makes critical comments about Blackmore.
  • The Cal Jam CD is officially released, prompting more Mk. II vs III comparisons.
  • Trond continue to prove he knows more about DP then any other active amd-p member. However, he is stumped when he is off by 2 on the question, "Into how many splinters did Ritchie shatter his guitar at Cal Jam?" A guy in California claims to have the questionable 2 pieces, having extracted them from his butt after the show.
  • Glenn Hughes claims he not only wrote Burn but also all of DP singles (Hush, Kentucky Woman, Smoke on the Water, ...).
  • Hughes fans still feel slighted.
  • Guitar World names Purpendicular "Guitar Album of the Year." Deep Purple also wins the "Who's in the Band" award. They slightly edge out Black Sabbath because several voters thought Sabbath broke up when Dio left the band.
    • And finally, a gimmie...
  • Ritchie changes band members.
    • Happy New Year to all.

    Doug

    Dave Hodgkinson
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